Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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