a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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