3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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