Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Shame - the story of my life.
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