your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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