She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
