bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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