Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
