just tell him i said nine months
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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