yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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