for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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