Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
