i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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