I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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