U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
