I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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