And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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