you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
