Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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