be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
