I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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