so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
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Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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