I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
