Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
