Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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