sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
