So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize