Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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