Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
