We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
