There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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