I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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