I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
