Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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