found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
