Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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