i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
