Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
