She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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