Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize