FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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