im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
