Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
