i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
