its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
