just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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