never play flip cup with pint glasses
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Michael Bay diarrhea
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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