How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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