Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
