watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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