her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
