i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
