Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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