used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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