did you get engaged???
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
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She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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