Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
