But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
