No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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